Conky Thoughts

In my 20’s, it changed with the direction of the wind whether I called myself atheist or I was religious in the faith in which I was raised. Honestly, it caused a lot of turmoil. I was in and and out of college, and used to close down bars and coffee shops with my classmates discussing philosophy and religion. One thing I got right: I don’t think I ever believed I was “correct” in these debates, like I was trying to convert my cohorts to my side. I was just curious. We all were. It was a magical time.

In this time, I did 3 years overseas as a government contractor. I traveled all over the world in my off time. My best friends at this time were Turkish, and I also broke bread with honest-to-God Bhuddists, Hindu’s, Sikh’s; I was fascinated by their lives. I can’t forget atheists too, although, I must say, I don’t think I ever met a Dawkin’s-thumping atheist. My friends were more agnostic, and readily admitted that.

I lost everything when I was 29 and was disabled for life, and I found myself at the local University. One of the first classes I took was biology 101. I remember learning about mitosis, the Krebs Cycle, photosynthesis, the complexity and intricacy of the DNA strand. Looking down the microscope in the lab at all on the invisible-to-the-naked-eye things going on behind the scenes of life, I was stunned. I thought: This isn’t EVIDENCE of Intelligent Design, this is PROOF!

That was 13 years ago, and I’ve never toyed with atheism since. My spiritual vagrancy wasn’t satisfied by this revelation, however, and I took all of the “World Religion” courses the University had to offer. I was on a mission to find out, once and for all, who was “right”. I passed all of the courses, and after all of my data collecting I came to the conclusion that in the matter of “who is right”, I can only speak for myself. I wrote in a paper that asking which is the “right” religion is like asking which is the “right” language.

The religion that was right for me was the one I grew up in, the one God bore me into. Why not? I really couldn’t find any fundamental problems with it aside from a rather juvenile rebellious attitude toward everything about my parents, including their faith. Mother Theresa of Calcutta shared my religion, and she is my favorite person ever to don a rosary. She said multiple times, (paraphrasing) “If you’re a Christian, be the best Christian you can be. If you’re a Muslim, be the best Muslim you can be.”

My favorite comedian, Steve Harvey, says about picking a church: “Just go to the one that’s around the corner from your house.” As my favorite priest is always telling me, “Stop trying to get it so perfect. Just be a good person. Let God sort out the imperfections.” Finally, a defense from my own canon, “1 Corinthians 4:5: “Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until The Lord comes. He will bring light to what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart.” I think the whole thing has very little do do if we got everything “right”. I think it’s more about if our hearts were good and we were good to others.